you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
