Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
