I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize