i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
