Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You took a bar mat shot.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
