Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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