She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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