just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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