It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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