So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize