you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize