she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
