A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
