oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize