I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
