His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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