this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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