Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
