I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This is my gift to your gina
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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