i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
