Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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