Pants 0. Shit 1.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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