my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize