Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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