hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
