She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
