hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
