I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
