Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize