Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
