A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
