Im at strip club and am horny
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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