its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize