Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
