You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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