What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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