if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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