So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
