U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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