Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize