I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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