Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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