If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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