everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize