btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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