I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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