physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
No subtext here. People are naked.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
