So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
