Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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