You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
