On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
