East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
