But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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