no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
