He is an equal opportunity slut.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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