so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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