Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
