chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
