Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
