I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
