I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
