Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
