does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You can't just leave with hair like that
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
