Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize