I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I supernannyed him into submission
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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