he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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