I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
