she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
